March 14, 2010
Great Books Period 5
Mr. Priest
How Do We Define Ourselves?
Too often, people are labeled; people put others in to boxes and define who they are. I believe that we don’t define who we are; other people define us for ourselves. Your peers, your family, and friends are the people who define who you are and they shape you to be the kind of person you will always be. For example, you could be this extremely popular cheerleader at one school then you have to move to different state and the only people who talk to you are “goths,” you will change yourself and become one of them to fit in and to feel excepted. Then later you might go back to the old school and people wont recognize you and you will realize how much you have truly changed just by being around different people. I know the people I have been around have affected me and changed me to make me be the person who I am today. We know that by being oneself, people tend to change who they are around others, no matter what the circumstance is. Does anyone really know who they truly are? Or has society and the desire to fit in overcome our true selves? This is one aspect of the Social Me that people will always disagree with. From William James writing we know that he thinks that the longing to fit in and to be accepted has overtaken who we really are as individuals. James notes that, “What may be called “club-opinion” is the one of the very strongest forces of life.” We are driven to be people were not to impress people who we think we need to impress. This is true for Melinda in Laurie Anderson’s novel, Speak. Melinda was once a very popular, fun loving girl, until the night she was raped. She put up this wall and didn’t let anyone in. She became lonely and depressed because everyone, including her parents and her old best friends, were making her feel worthless and like they would be happier if she wasn’t there at all. Melinda gives up trying to impress people and tries to become invisible; Melinda would be considered a “hermit” at this point. A hermit is somebody who chooses to live alone and isolate him or herself from the rest of society. They can’t possibly have a social self since they have completely isolated themselves from any human interaction. Hermits do choose to live alone and not come in contact with other people so they do choose their social self. By being isolated, is it possible to find your true self and define who you really are. I believe its not possible because you wouldn’t have an influences around you so you wouldn’t know who you would and wouldn’t want to be. Its clear from The Social Me by William James and Speak by Laurie Anderson that the way you define who you are is through others. You don’t know yourself until you are around others who shape you to be who you are.
